Vietnam is a heaving mass of contradictions. War and peace. Tradition and change. Calm and crazy. East and West. After more than a century of foreign occupation and oppression, it's little wonder that things are confused. I should probably say "confusing" instead, because the Vietnamese seem to be doing just fine. It's only paradoxical for outsiders. Trying to make sense of situations is a very Western pastime. Things are either black or white. In Asia, they can be grey, or black and white at the same time. Or neither. Some things aren't meant to be explained. They just "are." You can see why it gets confusing for newcomers.

Let's start with the painfully obvious elephant in the room: the war. Americans and Europeans refer to it as the Vietnam War. The Vietnamese refer to it as the American War. I like to call it, the French Indo-China War for Independence from Colonialism that the Americans Took Over and Made Worse.  Take your pick. It doesn't really matter. What actually does matter is the legacy of the conflict. Thousands of soldiers on both sides died and were wounded, but millions of civilians perished or were maimed. This vast untold story of the average person has affected every facet of Vietnamese society. 

The cities, with their offices and apartment buildings, malls and traffic are nice on the surface, but there's a lingering sense of sadness and decay underlying daily life. This is probably reinforced by the fact that the communist regime still rules the country, with its red flags, armed soldiers and propaganda. They remind you of another era. Yet, Vietnam is also racing into the future, with all the trappings and temptations of twenty-first century life. There are high-end luxury brands everywhere, while young people are just as addicted to technology as their peers elsewhere, and deals are being made on every street corner. I don't think the government can keep up.

The first thing that hits you in Vietnam is the crazy traffic. Sometimes quite literally. In addition to witnessing people being knocked over by speeding scooters, scooters crashing into each other, and scooters colliding with cars, we were in a car that was rear-ended by…you guessed it…a scooter. This country has a serious scooter problem. While other countries have it pretty bad--Indonesia, Thailand, Italy--Vietnam is in a class of its own. There are millions of scooters everywhere and they don't stop. For anything or anyone. You probably think I'm exaggerating, but I'm not. I even had an old lady run into me with her scooter from behind while I was walking on the sidewalk, and she yelled at me for it. Crossing the road here is akin to playing chicken with a bunch of people trying to run you over. After a day spent trying to figure it out, I became fatalistic and just crossed the road without looking, leaving my fate in the hands of a higher being, much to Jona's consternation.

Unfortunately, this unsustainable level of traffic has other, more serious effects on the quality of life in Vietnam, notably pollution. While the scooters make it difficult to walk around town and the non-existent sidewalks cause a lot of twisted ankles, the smog that blankets the cities is becoming unbearable. We would return home at night with sore throats and aching chests. Most people tend to wear face masks, because there's no escaping the fumes. And forget opening the windows at home.

We also have to talk about the waste situation. This may sound like a petty complaint, but, really, it's not. Other countries in the same league as Vietnam, the other economic tigers, have a much better handle on the sanitation issue. Hanoi and Saigon are green cities, with beautiful architecture and fascinating cultures, but the sidewalks can be scary and the rivers are often clogged with plastic waste and trash, which is heartbreaking. We found many similarities with Indonesia--the love of life, food and music--but the streets of Jakarta were generally well-maintained. And that's saying something, because Jakarta's a pretty crazy place. 

Unfortunately, the sanitation issue has predictable ramifications. The sewage systems are unstable, particularly when it rains, meaning that you cannot drink tap water and you have to be very careful with street food. Anthony Bourdain may seem to do great, sitting on a small plastic stool on a crowded sidewalk, eating phở, but for us mortals who do not have the assistance of a team behind the scenes or the facilitation of local chefs, there is a real risk of getting sick. We were careful but not paranoid, yet we were both sick during our time in Hanoi. There is no way to know what caused it and we think we were lucky the situation wasn't worse. However, it did cast a shadow over our time in Vietnam, because we became less adventurous with food during our time in Hanoi and we love Vietnamese food. The situation in Ho Chi Minh City was better, but were still cautious. Thank god for banh mi.

Nonetheless, Vietnam is a great country, with a character all its own. The people are energetic, friendly and proud. Despite its tragic history, no one would think to mistreat a foreign visitor. On the contrary, people go out of their way to help. We were fortunate enough to be in Hanoi when Vietnam won a succession of soccer games at the Asian Cup, going further than they ever had before. The town erupted in celebrations that lasted all night. Even tourists were included and encouraged to wear the Vietnamese colors. Cars and scooters clogged the streets, with drivers and passengers waving flags and pumping their fists in the air, while screaming with happiness. For a while, everyone was a member of the Vietnamese soccer team.

Unfortunately, Vietnam later lost in the finals against Uzbekistan, during a grueling 120-minute game in blinding snow. The country was deeply disappointed. But they still celebrated like they had won. All night long. You have to admire a country with such a strong sense of national pride that manifests itself in peaceful outlets like football. 

Visiting Vietnam is a somewhat surreal experience, because it seems so familiar. We've all seen video footage of the war and the (in)famous photos, which contribute to a feeling of déjà vu. Houses, buildings and squares look stereotypically Vietnamese. The heat and humidity are constant companions, even in the dry season (although Hanoi is noticeably cooler). Even the people look familiar. 

You have to remember that the conflict in Vietnam was the first to be broadcast into the homes of millions of people around the world. We are intimately acquainted with this country despite never having set foot here. There are sites that evoke and pay tribute to the trauma of war--the Citadel in Hanoi is a great example, as is Independence Palace in Saigon--but there are others that feel too heavy-handed, like the War Remnants Museum in Saigon. 

Everyone has their own personal experience in Vietnam. Personally, I found a way to the top of an old, decrepit building where one of the last helicopters to leave Saigon landed on the roof and evacuated a few (too few) South Vietnamese allies of the Americans. Could this have actually happened? The roof, which is the top of an elevator shaft, seemed impossibly small and ordinary. Learning more about the war during our stay, I came to the conclusion that a series of banal actions and decisions can lead to situations beyond our control, bringing out the best and worst in people. We had plenty of time to think about the past and to imagine the future of this country during our stay, which was a rare privilege. We also took the time to watch the whole Ken Burns documentary about the war, which was fascinating and harrowing at the same time.

After two weeks, one in the North in Hanoi and the other in the South in Saigon (or Ho Chi Minh City, as the government calls it), we had to move on to our next adventure. We went for one last walk around the neighborhood on our last night and I found myself already missing Vietnam and Southeast Asia. 

I'll miss the chaos, the noise, the food, the people and the random chickens on the street, but, above all else, I'll miss Vietnamese coffee. During my stay, I became addicted to my daily "cà phê sữa đá"--strong coffee with condensed milk--which gives you a jolt of energy and helps you keep up with the locals. We stumbled into a Cong Caphé (like a wartime version of Starbucks) one day and it became one of our favorite haunts in Hanoi and Saigon. I'll miss sipping my coffee, watching the crazy traffic through the windows and daydreaming about Vietnam... but I won't miss those scooters.